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The Raven-Part II

Once upon a July dreary, while I sat at O'Hare, weak and weary,
Over many a crew bag and sleeping flight attendant back and neck sore--
While I stood there, nearly napping, suddenly there came a snapping,
It was someone angrily tapping, tapping on the Unimatic board.
"'Tis some scheduler," I muttered, "tapping at the Unimatic keyboard--
Only this, and nothing more."

Ah, distinctly I reconciled that it was in this bleak Domicile,
As each misconnected flight attendant gazed wearily upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished to deadhead---but was given a four-leg assignment instead
From my ignored contract I read with dread-'I'm illegal' I tried to implore--
But like the many six-digit employees at UAL before--
Nameless now for evermore.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating at the crew desk no longer, "Sir," said I, "I'm going over to gate B-4;
And the fact is that I am through, and so your reassignment will not do,
My contract may mean little to you, tapping at your Unimatic keyboard,
Yes, I doubt that I've reached you!"
As I was ready to walk out the door;---
I got a smirk, a DNF, and nothing more.

Back into the terminal running, maneuvering to the gate with cunning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
"Surely," said I, "surely there is some seat open on this flight"
Ten minutes to go, it's gonna be tight, and this CSR will be quite sore---
Let my heart be still a moment, after all I've done this before;---
'Tis business as usual---in fact, it's becoming quite a bore.

But the agent, sitting lonely on the crowded podium, spoke only
This one word, as if hiding deep in his soul his employer did outpour.
Nothing further he bothered to say--it was getting late in the day--
Someday his new Union will have a say, but for now this one word bore---
Gliding pass the snarl on his lips, rattling my hopes to the core;
Quoth the Agent, "Nevermore."

And the Agent, never caring, still is staring, still is glaring
On the crowded podium of UAL corporate lore;
And his eyes have all the flair--my jumpseat ticket he begins to tear,
As the popcorn smell around the terminal burns my nose red and sore,
Fifteen hours duty today and still no rest save on the domicile floor;
My enthusiasm shall be lifted---nevermore!

O hath this job become too much to bear? This industry? This mess with U.S. Air?
I sit here now and ponder the beginning-the nostalgia of never having flown before;---
The days before all this mess---where six-leg shuttles were minimal at best,
Then WHQ grew and greyhound travelers came anew---eroding the thrill to the core;
Respectful days long ended---now my weary state sits next to a 1K on the floor.
"Same mess for me," said he, "Fly here again? Nevermore."

---

Christopher Lee
Dedicated to Mr. Poe, UAL Flight Attendants, and 1K's everywhere (especially during irregular domestic operations!)

Songs

• I Love to Fly
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• Hotel Flight Attendant
• One of Us
• Airline Horror Picture Show
• Some Aircraft for BizJet
• A Day In Her Life
• Ding! Dong! The Deal is Dead!
• Losing My Composure
• Oompa Loompa Song
• The Raven-Part II
• TSA Theme Song

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